For Pete's Sake

brief info on horse.  He is a 16.2 DWB who did 4' open jumpers before he had to have surgery to remove a grapefruit sized abscess from under his left muscle of his shoulder.  

The first time i met this horse, i did not think anything special of him.  He most def. had a personality, loved to make faces and play with his nose, but he was still kind of skinny and didn't have a shine to his coat as he was still recovering from having a grapefruit sized abscess taken out from underneath his left shoulder muscle.  He just was not anything special that  caught my eye in the way that he later did.  The first time i saw him being ridden i was riding in the small arena at the barn, and someone else (not going to name names at all in this story), had someone come open and close the gate for her, and came in and warned me "he is normally really well behaved, but can sometimes get fast and take off when i ask for the canter as he is still coming back from the surgery and gets to excited, so when i canter can you please just stand in the middle for the few min".  and i of course have no problems with it, not a big deal.  She rode him around, and i slowly but surly began to really notice him.  He had this special ability to turn heads when he was ridden.  He just had a presence to him that demanded he be watched.  When they began cantering it was only for a lap or so each way and he was a perfect gentleman and ALWAYS in a frame using himself correctly.   From that moment on i was hooked.  The person riding him, knew me well enough to know what i was thinking, and i guess without me really knowing about it, she talked to the barn owner, who was also the owner of the horse at the time about the possibilities of me riding Pete.  I guess the barn owner said that my legs were to short to be able to ride him correctly, and that he would take off with me and i would never be able to regain control.  Well the next day, i then went up and asked if i could ride him, and she said in a hesitant voice "yes, but only walk trot in the little arena and only for 15 min or so".  So i went and tacked him up, which was always an ordeal since i could not reach the top of him to brush him all the way or to make sure the saddle pads and saddle were laid correctly and not bothering him.  but i always made it work, by either asking someone to check it, or finding random stools and or chairs to climb on to be able to see.  I was told this horse was spooky and to be careful, but i noticed that he seemed a lot calmer just with me around, and as long as i pretended it was no big deal, he did not worry about it.  Once i got on, i headed over to the little arena and went to open the gate and was told he can not do that, he does not know how and its to stressful to try and teach him.   Well i just ignored everyone and patiently and slowly introduced him to the gate and explained to him that if he got the gate open today, then we would not worry about closing it until another time.  So we walked to the front of the gate, and i had him side pass over with the gate enough that we could get in front of it and swing it open.  decided to call it quits there for the day (especially since side passes, and circles and anything to that nature were supposed to be done sparingly because of the surgery). Once we got in the ring, i gave him a LONG walk warm up to stretch that shoulder of his, but from the moment i sat on his back i felt safe.  

I felt like he knew i had never been on a horse of his power before (a DWB is a HUGE difference from a QH), but he was calm and took care of me.  I asked him for a slow trot after awhile of walking to be able to get used to him.  He was still off "lame" due to his shoulder, but the vets had told us that he would become gradually less lame after work to increase the strength of the shoulder and it was not causing him any pain to be worked now. I could most def. feel the "offness" but kept going, making sure he was stretching like i was told.  We then switched ways and did the same thing, but i did not want to push my luck or his so we stopped after a few min.  The first ride was maybe 10-15 min total, but if i hadn't already fallen in love with him before, i was head over heals in love with him at that point.  

The barn owner actually never saw that ride, but was told that he seemed VERY happy and i was having no problems controlling him at all.   

The next day there was a jumping show and then the judge offered a mini clinic aferwards because it ended early.  I had showed a friends appy in the show that day, but she wanted to ride him in the clinic that evening, and my horse that i own, was injured from being stuck in quick sand.  The barn owner said i needed to ride in the clinic, and i had 20 min or so to figure out which horse from the barn i would ride.  All the horses that i kept listing off were taken by other riders (paid riders) and so i could not use them.  The last horse that i had left was Pete, so i asked the barn owner if i could ride Pete in the clinic and she asked me "your in love with him aren't you" and i said "yes.  he is a special horse and i know it." So she told me that i could ride him, and that she would take to the judge about the things the horse was not allowed to do after his surgery.  I was told walk trot both ways was ok, and no small circles.  Cantering was totally off limits.  I said not a problem, i just wanted to have fun, and learn what the judge had to say since he had already seen me jump another horse earlier that day.  

When it came time to get tacked up and out in the arena, i yet again had to have someone check my stuff since he was so tall  but i had managed to get everything on wrinkle free and straight.  When we got to the big arena that the clinic was taking place in, he started to get a little excited because he had not been ridden in their since before his surgery, and there were other horses being ridden with him as well.  I was never once scared of anything he would do, i always had this deep feeling of im safe with him. 

Once the clinic started, we were all told to walk with impulsion.  No lazy baby walks, but real forward moving walks.  I was one of the horses that he pointed out at the beginning of having a great walk right off the bat.  Once we were told to start trotting he said the same thing, and from what i have been told the barn owner was speechless because she had not seen Pete move so relaxed, so forward, and so on the bit in a long time.  They later asked me what i was doing, and i had no answers other then he picked me and was now going to show off to everyone how amazing he was, since he had someone he felt he could trust and love on his back.   So we all trotted around for awhile, and then the judge asked for a walk transition, which yet again Pete did effortlessly still staying on the bit.  The judge asked everyone else for a walk/canter transition and i explained to him that Pete was not allowed to canter right now, so he instructed me to trot to the inside of everyone else in the circle.  Pete and i went around a few laps without a problem, until he realized that he was not going to get to canter with everyone else and was deeply upset from it.  He thought about taking off, but i was able to stop that train of motion fast enough, and then he decided to throw a few little hissy bucks in the middle of the arena..  I was able to stop him right after, picked up the trot for a few strides until he relaxed again and then stood in the middle of the arena waiting for the rest of the people to stop cantering.   

When we were told to turn around and track the opposite direction, he was a little more lively in his walk, and the judge told me to use that forward motion for impulsion verses speed, and once we got that figured out, it felt amazing.  The judge then asked for a trot, and i stayed more into the center of the circle in case Pete got excited again, i would have room to control him properly without running people over.  You could tell he was SUPER excited, but was controlling it and using all that power in impulsion instead.  I felt like we were never touching the ground, and that we were covering the ground faster then i could believe was possibly.  I was however told, that we were not speeding around the arena, he was just using his hindquarters to propel us forward with that intense motion.  When the rest of the group started cantering Pete got really upset because he was not allowed to and started bucking and doing mini rears that were really easy to get under control.  You just have to talk sweet nothing to him, and he calms right down.  

After i had put him away the barn owner came to me and told me she was really impressed.  She said she had not seen him move like that in more years then she can remember.  She said he won't do that for just anyone, no matter how good of a ridder.   He picks his ridders, and then performs to his best ability with them. She said i was more then welcome to ride him any day i wanted and to help him in his recovery process.  

So weeks fallow and he was basically mine to ride.  I rode him on average 5 days a week sometimes only 15 min, and sometimes almost an hour.  some days we didn't canter because we did not want him to anticipate anything, and other days we worked on different transitions, going over poles, and bending.  Every day was different and we just wanted to keep him focused and wanting to work.  

One day he did get pissed that he was not allowed to canter for a longer period of time and he did take off on me.  My first instinct was to pull the reins to stop him, but i very quickly found out that meant RUN FASTER to him.  In order to slow him down you had to sit deep and put leg on him to pull him up into the bridle.  The last thing on my mind when a horse is taking off with me is to put leg on... leg on means go faster not slow down.  But after we figured that out, he didn't take off as many more times, and the times he did i got him back under control really fast.   The day that he actually took off the worst on me when we were letting him jump crossrails again to slowly introduce him to jumps slowly and make sure his shoulder held.  He landed the first jump like a good boy a little fast, but i was able to bring him back to the bit within a few strides.  However, the second jump was a totally different story.  He landed the jump, grabbed the bit and took off.  We were in the little arena, but that horse had no plans of stopping.  He then decided to try and pull a QH spin while at a full gallop, but i managed to keep him straight so he could not do that, for fear that he would loose his balance and fall on top of me ..  The barn owner, who was currently giving me the lesson that night congradulated me on being able to feel what was coming, and prevent something bad from happening.  She also told me that she was proud that i remembered the things she told me to stop him, and regain control over his canter.  

That was the day that we were making HUGE strides with each other, and that was the last day i ever really got to "rid" him.  I have been back on him a few times, but mostly walking bareback and would sneak in a little trot here and there.  I went from "having my own horse to love, show, and train" to being told "you can't get on him at all, it will ruin him.  your not the kind of rider he needs"

The true last day i ever really rode him, i got up the courage to ask the barn owner if i could take him in the big arena and do walk trot without warming up in the little arena to start.  She asked me if i felt comfortable with it, and i said yes, he will take care of me.   That was one of the best days in my life.  I took him out to the big arena, pretended like it was the small one and did our walk trot workout.  at first you could tell i was holding his trot back into a collected trot because i was scared he would take off, but as soon as i noticed and my friend pointed it out to me, i took a deep breath and relaxed.  i didn't have to do anything more then relax and we were flying.  He knew he was just supposed to trot, but he sat down and did the most amazing extended trot i have ever felt, and then just continued with a very impulse driven trot both ways until i told him to stop.  I was breathless when we were done, not because i was tired, but because i was so taken aback by him knowing exactly what to do, and how to take care of me and make me happy. 

The hardest part was being to sick to go down to the barn for awhile, and getting down there one day to go give him a big kiss and extra cookies like i always did, to find out he is gone.  He was sold and moved to his new home just days before that.  I have many memories of me sitting in his stall and him whipping the tears off my face with his nose, and giving me kisses all over trying to get me to cheer up.  I would sit in his stall in the total blackness without a second thought.. he would stand over me and protect me and stand with his head in my lap, or resting on my head and fall asleep.  no  cookies were involved..  My mom found me with him during one of our special moments one night and asked "why are you not getting this emotional over Belle, and you are him.  Belle is truly your horse."  and i said " i know, thats the problem.  Belle is never going anywhere.  She will always be mine though thin and thick, no one could take her from me.  Pete isn't mine.  He is for sale and there is the risk of him being sold and i would never get to see him again."  I also told my mom that there was something about him.  I have a special bond with Belle that has grown, but we have both had to work hard, and have gone though problem times in it.  My bond with Pete was different, he picked me, i did not pick him.  That in its self made it even more special.  I had this amazing DWB picking me over anyone in the barn for the person he wanted to have the bond with.  I said i know i can always ride Belle, but i don't know if i can always ride Pete.  They are completely different horses and different rides.  Pete needs to know his leader is there and confident and ready to help take care of him if need be, Belle is ready to take care of her leader and protect me in times of needs.  Pete is 16.2+HH and a DWB, Belle is 14.1+ and a QH.  just off the bat Pete is going to have more powerful gates which require more strength to be able to control, and not just control , but control and have him on the bit. 

Granted NOW i could prob ride Pete again, but at the time, i was never sure if i would be able to give him what he needed for him to be happy.  So when we (my mom and I) were offered Pete for a low price we had to turn the deal down.  That was THE hardest thing i've ever done, especially when my mom said "if you weren't sick that horse would have been yours the second you laid eyes on him.  There was something special between you two that no one could change or try to pretend didn't exist, but im sorry honey, at this time we can't afford your medical bills and a second horse.  

That was the last time i ever saw him.  I now where he is, and his new owner said im more then welcome to visit him, but i know the second i see him i will break down in tears and i do not want everyone else to see that too.  I don't think anyone can really understand how special it feels to have a horse pick you, and touch your heart in that special way without you even knowing whats happening.  I know there are a few of you out there who understand that, but its that feeling/look that most people are trying to get.  There are a lucky few who just have it. 

Pete and i were one of those lucky few. 

I <3

i wish the best for you, 

and i wish i could explain to you why things had to change. 

i promise its not your fault boy. its mine. 

You did nothing wrong, in fact you did everything write to teach me exactly what i needed and when. 

You complete my life, and i would buy you to be back with me in a heart be, or less, if it was possible.  

I <3 you
xoxo