sick and tired...

i'm sick and tired of everything! why is it that i wake up and can barely get up yet a fucking again? I just wanted to go to the barn for a little bit and hang out with friends. i wasn't even asking to do anything, now it looks like im going to have to be drugged off my ass so that im comfortable (well kinda) for the day. I get the cortisone injections tomorrow, and the thought scares the crap out of me. I don't want them, but at the same time i really do. I just want this all gone!! and never to come back!! how hard is that to ask? obviously its way to hard to ask. I don't want to have to worry about walking around the house alone, for fear that i might fall and be unable to get up. I really don't want to take these damn pain meds, but i would go crazy without them.

I guess i just have to suck it up till tomorrow and hope for the best